My future.. Alternatives..

I've been planning to score a good GPA in year one and hopefully do the same for year two so i could take a diploma plus - applied psychology in year two. Right now, I've made up my to retake my O'Levels English Examination, in the event that i failed my first year's modules or screw up my GPA, i can opt to change course with my current O'Levels points, did so badly for my O's. If i had knew how much pain it brings to me i would've studied so damn hard. I ruined my future with my own bare hands. I feel so pathetic right now. I wish i could sleep it away, but the negative thoughts kept on coming back, replaying like a broken tape in my mind. I don't want to escape from my problems...